Pregnancy Laughs

At 38 weeks tomorrow.... I can think back over the last 9 months and laugh at all the difficult and painful times... I have definitely experienced my share of 'glowing moments' and way more than my share of 'not-so-glowing moments'. Its been interesting to enter a season of motherhood (or pre-motherhood)... my once extroverted personality that has been called by some as Social Butterfly... has morphed into a quietness and shyness. I like to think of it as God's way of making me step back out of the spotlight in preparation for Shiloh! But with the changes has come a high sensitivity to things... so the following are some of my favorite not-so-favorite moments from the last couple months of this pregnancy.

1. One of my 3 midwives that I see has a funny way of expressing her disdain with my ever-increasing preggo weight gain. The last appointment she looks at my previous weigh-in from 2 week prior... remembers I went on a mini-vacation, and kindly says "somebody gained 5 pounds on their vacation!" . A few not nice names came to my mind, but I held back.

2. Our bed now has a new occupant... Body Pillow. Body Pillow sadly has become a necessity for me to grab any kind of wink. But I can tell that Brandon is growing more and more unhappy with our new bed- friend. As I expand, the amount of space it takes for me to roll from one side to the other increases, throw in Body Pillow, and Brandon has been confined to sleeping on the edge of his side of the bed. I am sure that he can't wait for Body Pillow to retire to his previous position as a head rest.

3. Its not halloween, but I seem to be sporting a mask on my face. As if having a giant belly wasn't enough to announce "Baby on Board" my face now has joined in. For those of you who aren't familiar, its called "pregnancy mask" and it creeps in one day, un-expecting, and makes your cheeks and nose distinctly darker with splotches. Yay! Just what every woman wants! Especially as I have given up on wearing makeup most days, I have to suck it up and face the world with a lovely mask on my face. Brandon tells me its just freckles... God bless him.

4. As the hormones have been raging, so has my sensitivity to other people... or should I say, my patience. Brandon and I took a birthing class, as Bill Cosby so eloquently put it "we are intellectuals and intellectuals go to a class to learn how to do something that is NATURAL". Haha, anyways, the class was filled with about 15 other expecting first time mothers and their coaches. One little short lady in particular began to slightly annoy me. She was overly bubbly... and you could tell came from a very wealthy lifestyle. At the last class in the series, our instructor asked us to brainstorm some ways we could begin to simplify our lives in order to prepare for our baby's arrival. Answers such as cook and freeze meals, invite a family member to come help, came to mind. But this lovely little peach of a woman blurts out with giggles, "hire a housekeeper". Ooooo and for some reason my pregnant self could not help but roll my eyes and envision hitting her over the head with my Boppy Pillow. Then during the hospital tour at the end of class, the nurse asked if anyone wanted to volunteer to get hooked up to the monitor and hear their baby's heartbeat. Without even a split second passing, she jumps up and waves "oooh, me! I do" . And as the nurse turned the volume dial so that her precious child's heartbeat was keeping beat in the room, she coos "oh I just love to hear my baby's heart".... making the other 14 mommas-to-be feel as if their babies heartbeats take a silver medal to hers. Sheeesh.

5. Then at my breastfeeding class, given by WIC, was a very young, overly made-up, pregnant girl. Who looked as if she'd rather be shopping at the mall then learning how to nourish her soon to be born son. Anyways, at one point during the class, we were asked to put on some colored lipgloss and kiss a balloon. (Silly sounding, I know). When the instructor brought the lipgloss around to this young premadonna, she asks "what kind of lipgloss is that". The sweet lady answered, "oh its just dollar store", then the princess shakes her finger, "oh I can't put that on MY LIPS". Mind you, WIC is a program for lower income women... and she is refusing dollar store lipgloss for a 5 minute exercise. Again, I wanted to hit her upside the noggin with my Boppy Pillow.

6. I miss having ankles. One day I did have them, then the next, they were POOF- GONE! Who knew feet could swell up so much! Its funny because I have always cynically laughed at the fact that I've had every pregnancy symptom in the book... but swollen feet and hands had not yet plagued me until week 36. Now its goodbye wedding ring... which only bothers me when I think of Jenny McCarthy's comment in Belly Laughs, about how people who see a pregnant belly with a naked ring finger would judge the woman as a hussy. But the feet, ouch, swollen feet and ankles are not fun. And due to the swelling, my limbs are now prone to spontaneous numbness. Oh now thats even better! So now I'll wake up in the middle of the night, hugging Body Pillow, need to roll over, but my hands are numb, so I flop and thrash to get to the edge of the bed and sit myself upright, then my bladder is screaming for me to hurry it up to the pot, but my feet are also numb. Haha, if only we had a night vision camera to film this.

But the sweetness of having life inside you outweighs all the woes, annoyances, and pains... by a longshot. Some of my favorite things have been feeling Shiloh kicking and stretching inside her little hotel for one. Even the rib shots somehow become sweet. I have enjoyed the moments when I am alone at home, don't feel her moving (so I assume she's catching some baby zzzz's) and so I'll lift my shirt up and rub her while saying her name, and she'll actually respond and begin to wake and move. Sometime the more I talk to her, the more she gets moving. If only I could peer inside and see just what she is up to! And watching Brandon lay his head on my belly and interact with her warms my soul. He likes to find her feet (usually kicking and poking at my side) and he'll try to grab them... she'll actually play keep-away with him, its super funny and makes me think she might have uber ticklish feetsies.

She is due in two weeks, although I realize she could come even later than that.... but we are ready and anxious to meet her!